8.06.2011

Wellspring

Wellspring detail

Ironically (or perhaps appropriately), during the very time I was working on an image of the heart as "wellspring," a new twist on my hearts and tangles, my own heart broke open from the weight of lonely homesickness, tired-mommy-ness . . . and your basic, "grade-F" brand of pure "poor me" selfishness. (I wrote about the bad day that started it, and this painting as work-in-progress here).

Has this ever happened to you? You're mid-sentence, counting your blessings, when discontentment suddenly and rudely interrupts.  I had no excuse, especially when this is what I've been thinking on:

"Keep and guard your heart
with all vigilance,
and above all that you guard
for out of it flow the springs of life"
(Proverbs 4:23, Amplified Bible, emphasis mine).

Heart and tangles detail

Maybe it happened because I was only thinking on these things and neglected to be vigilant. Because if you're like me, things like this almost always happen when you're least expecting it. When you've let your guard down. When you've become distracted--distracted even by good things.

Maybe it's because sometimes the downpour that tests our faith and tries our attitudes is simply the place where we must "live" for a while--it's a day-by-day (even minute-by-minute) opportunity to discover the leaks in our roof and to sure up our shelter against the next storm.

Live in the Wellspring

Whatever the reason, I think that torrents of tears and waterfalls of blessed joy mingle together in the "springs of life."  And even as nations pray desperately this very day for rain, let us also lay open our dry hearts to be drenched in whatever downpour we're living in at the moment  --whether in tears of mourning or tears of joy.  For this downpour is the very place where our stories are being written.

"Wellspring"

May we be willing, one drop at a time, to be worn and carved into vessels of beautiful depth.  For it is life and love that blossom out of the torrents of the deep.




Joining Studio JRU and Studio Sneak Peek Friday here.

13 comments:

  1. Beautifully written. Beautiful artwork. Being an expat also, I can relate to the homesickness. It pops up in places and times where I least expect it. Some times the level of how it effects my new world can be a little tug on my heart or a melt down of emotion with a flood of tears.
    I'm sending you a hug. xox Tracie

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  2. Thank you Tracie! Never knew homesickness would feel like this! Sending a hug right back at you! ;)

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  3. Your words and your paintings amaze me. I relish them. I hate that you're struggling with homesickness, but I love that you turned your heartache into something beautiful. I can completely relate to the self-pity moments happening in a turn of the head. I fight against that often. Thank you for this reminder to be grateful.

    p.s. I'm putting your button on my blog. It's gorgeous.
    My Blog

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  4. gorgeous work! you're going on my blog sidebar right this moment! :)

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  5. Wonderful, Sarah! I understand homesickness...I'm holding you in my heart.

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  6. Last year was a training time to be vigilant; God let me know that my thoughts couldn't delve into the post or think about the future. I had to retrain my "thinking paths" to stay on the "in the moment" path. It was a season of retraining. It stopped the tears. We had moved from "home" to an Odysseus place - and before my journey could take us back "home" I had to live on that path and find joy in that path.

    Your art is so powerful - it so reflected that time before I stayed on the new path, the now path.

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  7. Oh Sadee... I am sending you (((big hugs))). I do know how rudely discontentment can suddenly interrupt us. But I do think you are right, there is a reason for it. Something we need to learn. Your art is beautiful. Your words touch my heart. Thank you so much for sharing!

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  8. "lonely homesickness" - it can really hit you in unexpected moments. No matter how long you live in a foreign country, it will never completely go away. I've been living in the US for ten years now and sometimes I just yearn for Germany and I'm having really bad days... I'm sorry that you struggle so much with that, but I also think that, as you said, it happens for a reason. I try to put that particular feeling into creative work which often helps - there is a healing power in making art. I'm sending healing thoughts to you.

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  9. MMMmmmmmm love the words and the artwork. The process of the water wearing down the hard edges. I am with you. Continuing to capture those thoughts.

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  10. You all have blessed me beyond words this week. Thank you for your concern and for all the hugs and warm thoughts you're sending from afar! It's funny how I feel alone and homesick sometimes, but in truth, because of blogging, I now have MORE FRIENDS THAN EVER!!! ((((HUGS)))) right back at all of you!

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  11. So rich in meaning and love~

    God is pouring into you in such big ways. Sometimes His leading bring us to a real place of rawness -- giving pause (and callouses on praying knees?). Thank you for sharing this holy place with us, with me.

    I adore you, I do...

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  12. You have such a lovely way with words, Sadee :) I loved how you said the downpours show us where the leaks are - so true! And you are right about this: He is writing our stories in our downpours, whatever our downpours happen to be right now. Praying for you, in your lonely downpour, friend. (((BIG HUGS)))!

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Thank you for being kind with your words and generous with your time!