8.19.2011

Transforming Authenticity

I've been thinking about the word AUTHENTICITY.  About how to be authentic, especially because of this little bloggy thing here, because of the way I tend to lay out my heart for all who might care to see.

Love Typewriter

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, 
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2).

When I think of authenticity, and even when you look at the dictionary's deifinition of the word, it is something that is genuine because of a consistent pattern of facts that prove it so. On the other hand, when I think of "conforming to a pattern," I think of a cookie cutter, which is not at all an image of "authenticity."

So the answer is, "don't conform, but be consistent."  Could this be true?  If so, I'm in big trouble, because I'm often all over the place, i.e., my free-write about the word "New":

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Sometimes I don't know if the words I have are the right ones.  Sometimes I wonder if I even meant what I said yesterday, because the way I am living today does not look as if I believe the things I say I believe. Sometimes I want to just lay down my paintbrush and to turn off the computer and never paint or write another thing, because nothing I do feels "good enough."

Sometimes I find the words and I get chills because I know they are right.  Sometimes I examine my heart and my thoughts, and find (with a bit of surprise) that I am perfectly at peace.  Sometimes I find joy in the simple act of creating and in that moment give no thought to what the end product might be.

Sometimes I just can't believe that I am the same person I was yesterday.  And I wonder what it is to live authentically, to write authentically, to create art from the place inside of my heart that is really and truly me.

How can I find what is really and truly me, when "me" is always changing?

And I realize that this is it, this is authenticity: to be constantly changing and transformed . . . by LOVE.  "Me" is always changing, not because I am insecure or incomplete, but because I'm always seeking to be better than I was yesterday.  Some days it works, some days it doesn't.  And on the days it doesn't work, there is grace--and always tomorrow, a new day.
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red stripes watercolor texture

Maybe the answer in all this rambling is that authenticity in art and in writing is simply to share life, scratches and all--to practice consistent honesty in admitting my inconsistency--in a way that is transparent and uplifting and points to LOVE as the only thing and the only person who covers my multitude of messy imperfections.



Lots of lovely links today: Paint Party, Studio Sneak Peek, Imperfect Prose, Five-Minute Friday

P.S. Check back tomorrow for the finished painting here on my blog and also in the quiet re-opening of my Etsy shop!  I'll gradually be adding new prints of my work for purchase here, starting this weekend.

27 comments:

  1. What really relates with me is what you wrote about words. My word for this year was authentic on my blog, but oh, it is so difficult when you can't find the right words. Since I write in English which is not my native language I often struggle and feel that there are nuances that I cannot express. I've started writing morning pages, and it just flows because I write in German - I can write what I actually want to say and what it means. Is this even clear what I wrote here - see my problem? Language... I guess that you understand because where you live a different language is spoken - the two of us have it exactly vice versa!
    I love the red color!!

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  2. Super-Beautiful post..gorgeous art...love the closeups..such energy and harmony....and super lovely insights..
    Being all that you are is a constant journey of many divine igredients harmonizing..fly with them all and create with your beautiufl life expression however it comes through..and simply bloom and shine!!
    Fabulous post!
    Victoria

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  3. Thank you Victoria and Carola. And Carola, you are right--I do have an idea what you mean. I often feel, when I'm speaking German, that I can't really be "myself" at all because there is so much I can't express! BUT I think the most important thing is HEART--that LOVE really can fill in all those gaps, even when we can't see it.

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  4. love your art and wish you authenticity always!

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  5. Hi Sadee, nice to meet you...I love your words and your artwork...simply beautiful... I will definitely check back tomoro... have a great evening... :)

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  6. I remember the feelings in Ecuador. Not just the language but the culture shock. It was a good experience for us to know on a small scale what our little one might feel. Authenticity.... its a hard one isnt it. Our culture is all about the plastic faces and automatic responses. keep creating!use the colors and words He has blessed you with!!! He created YOU for a purpose, to be part of his plan that NO ONE ELSE could do. Take it and run with it my friend!

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  7. Pink yumminess and love the sketch over the top! Beautiful, bold and brilliant! POP ART MINIS

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  8. Great post and loving your scrummy sketch. Happy PPF, Annette x

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  9. wow, thats amazing,, the words and the art,,

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  10. i loved this, art and all:) never would have tho't of the parallel between life/veins and keys/writing. (it caught my attention b/c of all the red. then i realized the parallel. (i'm a nurse)
    i will be processing what you wrote. so interesting. love your posts:) and they are beautiful too:)

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  11. Authenticity is about - for me - being truthful and this is a very truthful post. And, I like the painting too.

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  12. Welcome to Paint Party Friday!! I love your page, a beautiful combination of pen and paint. The scratches make it more wonderful. I agree that authenticity involves changing, not with the tide, but with the discovery of more of ourselves.

    Don't lay down the paintbrush and give up painting!! ;)

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  13. Lovely post, Sadee. Sometimes I feel authentic and sometimes not. Like you I hope that today I am better than I was yesterday. Your art work is beautiful.

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  14. Oh Sadee... I hear you! I have those exact same thoughts and feelings. You expressed them so beautifully. I love how you said you are constantly changing because you are seeking to be better. YES! That is it! What a great piece and so happy for your re-opening! ♥

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  15. "Sometimes I wonder if I even meant what I said yesterday, because the way I am living today does not look as if I believe the things I say I believe."--Your words send shockwaves of recognition through me...like I wrote them myself, (only I am pretty sure you captured it better:))...SO glad I stumbled here from 5 min friday...will be following

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  16. Sadee, I love this post. It is raw and it is HONEST. I can relate so much to what you write. Better be a searcher than being a conformist! How can you find yourself if you just conform. I love a searching heart - to try many different things. Sometimes I almost despair at myself for how inconsistent I am with my art and style. But I like to think of myself as a searcher at heart. (You can find my most recent piece of stitching on Flickr:http://www.flickr.com/photos/24204388@N03/6037076910/in/pool-greatbigstitchedpostcardswap#/photos/24204388@N03/6037076910/in/pool-1392335@N25/)
    I'm popping over to your Etsy shop, see you there!

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  17. I am soo captivated by your painting. And your words are so sincere. I admire that you chose to open yourself up to the blogosphere.

    And I'm excited to see the painting finished!

    Hope you have a wonderful weekend. God bless! :-)

    Irene

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  18. Well, well ... A delightful work ... and authentic.

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  19. 'To thine own self be true' ~ wonderful work ~ art and words ~
    love it! thanks ~ namaste, Carol ~ Happy PPF

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  20. to share life with all of its scratches... i love this dear sadee. that's exactly what i long to do too. and i think God is glorified in the sharing...

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  21. lovely words and art, I'm more able to be "authentic' the older and braver I get!
    -Andrea

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  22. If you believe that art and writing is a spirit moving through you then it is all authentic, it is all perfect the way it was meant to be! Can we improve on our art....absolutely as we practice. We are a compilation of all those we meet, the experiences we have, the emotions we feel and what we learn! So of course transformation is a part of the process! Embrace your beautiful art and beautiful self and share your essence just like you did here today!! Wonderful post, and art!

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  23. Wow your post really tugs at my heart! I so know what ya mean about how we are constantly changing!I've really been trying to live more in the moment and then just be true to yourself as you go from moment to moment. But I know sometimes its easier said than done,lol!Thank you for such and inspirational post and your paintings are beautiful!!! Deb

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  24. I love this post!! I love your journal page also. You need to live in the moment. The now. Everyone changes. If we didn't it would be so boring. One day I think or do one way and the next day I do another. And I don't worry about what yesterday was. This is NOW. Great post! Very thought provoking.

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  25. Thank you all for your kind comments and wonderful insights into what it means to be "authentic." I'm thinking I might really need to switch to a Wordpress site so I can better manage to reply to each individual comment!

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  26. We are constantly evolving in our lives and our art, just go with your instinct!
    Lovely page!

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  27. Love your art and writing very much! Welcome to PPF and looking VERY forward to more posts from you.

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Thank you for being kind with your words and generous with your time!